Meditation: It’s Like Potty Training for Your Mind

I have what’s sometimes called a fast brain, which is both a blessing and a curse. The blessing part comes with the ability to process a lot of information really quickly and make split-second decisions, which is really helpful for nurse who spent much of their career in the ICU and ER. The curse is the inability to turn the function off at times. You know, like when I’m supposed to be relaxing or trying to go to sleep at night.

Strategies can help. But knowing yourself is probably job #1.

The concept of meditation gets a bad rep sometimes. I used to roll my eyes when someone would tell me they “meditate”. It conjured images of gurus on mountaintops and silent retreats with tight-wearing yogis wandering around barefoot munching on raw greens. So I decided to learn more about it. And when I did, it was a lot simpler than I thought. And more valuable.

The bottom line is: You don’t have to be (or even have) a guru to practice meditation.

Meditation is simply a way of training your mind, which in my case wants to flit around like a butterfly, attracted to every colorful flower or shiny object. Most of the people I teach these simple methods to start out by telling me: “I’ve tried meditation. I can’t do it. My mind won’t stay put.” But honestly? That’s kind of the point. People whose minds want to jump around constantly are exactly the people who benefit from focused relaxation and breathing exercises, including guided meditations.

It’s kind of like potty training. It’s about becoming more self-aware and controlling the urges your brain naturally has to get lost following tangents. Essentially to keep from metaphorically peeing all over yourself. Or worse…

People come to the idea of meditation for multiple reasons, but these days, with so many things vying for our nervous system’s attention and energy, the ability to stay in control is becoming more and more paramount. The journey to the center of our own selves is intensely personal, highly unique and, at least in my case, takes a twisting path to places that easily could have been a straight shot.

But let’s not forget: This is a skill, and as such, it requires practice.

Your brain naturally wants to follow tracks that are worn in. We call these ruts “neural pathways”. Listen, the brain is nothing if not efficient. In fact, your brain wants to bypass as much processing as it can, making tasks easier, more “mindless” and repetitive so that it can use those brain bytes for other things.

Here’s the thing to remember though: “Thoughts that fire together, wire together.”

Which means that the more often you choose a certain path for your brain to follow, the easier it becomes for your brain to go there. So if you’re sitting there trying to calm your mind, and you keep finding it wandering, every single time you bring it back and start over, counting your inhales and exhales or focusing on the feeling of the breath coming in and going out of your chest, you’re creating a new pathway.

The more you practice choosing that pathway, the easier it will become. Just like a muscle lifting a weight, the body responds to repetition. It builds muscle memory and makes each lift more efficient, building new muscle cells to help carry the load of the larger demand.

Moving meditations are a great way to tune in while discharging excess nervous energy.

There are a lot of different ways to practice meditation, which is excellent news for my jumpy brain! Maybe it’s good news for yours too. Oftentimes yoga is considered a “moving meditation”. You are working hard enough in your body that it requires singular focus, which settles and trains the mind. Your thoughts aren’t able to wander very far or for very long because you have to continue following along with the class, constantly changing positions and focusing on your form.

But so is going for a walk. Gardening. Ironing. Cooking. Coloring. Repainting a room. Woodworking. Virtually any activity can be mindful if you approach it that way. Quieting yourself. Moving with intention. Noticing the world around you. Being fully present.

Mindfulness is the ability to be present. To Be Here Now.

Most of us spend 90% of our day either thinking about the past or the future. Very little of our brain’s energy is focused in the here and now, and that’s what the practice is all about. Training our brain, and our nervous system, to just … Be. Here. Now.

You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

Neuroplasticity is that ability to rewire your brain. To create new pathways and to strengthen those pathways into habits. This is how we change behavior at the level of the brain. This is how we break unhealthy addictions. By choosing. And then choosing again. And again. It’s not easy, but it is effective.

This video from Headspace isn’t new, but I still think about it almost daily as I work on rewiring my own habits of thought:

I share this video regularly as I teach Cardiac Rehabilitation patients how to calm their nervous system and practice relaxation and breath work. It’s simple, but powerful.

5-10 Minutes / Day is really all it takes

Practicing this idea of breathing slowly and refocusing your brain doesn’t take a huge commitment. Personally, I work on this in the evenings before bed, which is my most challenging brain-won’t-shut-the-f***-up time. Having someone talk you through a meditation or guided relaxation exercise is the most helpful for me. Like in yoga class, it’s really helpful to have someone else telling me where to focus my attention, and this need to listen to instruction cuts out the chatter in the rest of my brain.

There are lots of apps that can help. Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer are some that I’ve tried in the past, and recommend to patients. Some are pay for use and some are free. And no, I’m not affiliated with any particular app or company. I am on this journey along with you, and can only encourage you that it is, in fact, a journey!

“The only currency you spend without knowing your balance is time.”

Attributed to Ann Singer, this quote is poignant. But perhaps even more important to remember is that whatever gets your attention also gets your time.

Attention is the real commodity in today’s market driven, consumerist society. But it’s also important to remember that “Where your attention goes, your energy flows”

Learning to control where your attention goes is the real meat of any mindfulness or meditation practice. When I allow my attention to be consumed by the media or the latest sensational terrifying story, I've given a piece of myself and my energy away to someone else. Someone who is faceless, nameless, and basically big ugly bully.

My energy belongs to me. Your energy belongs to you.

We get to say where our attention goes. And it starts simply. By turning off your phone, your tv, and the loops in your brain that want to tell you you can’t do it, because if my brain can do this, so can yours. It’s empowering, taking control back from doomscrolling the news cycle and social media. Create your own sacred time and space. Value your own thoughts. Nurture your nervous system.

Do it with me now:

Here’s a five-minute introduction to mindful breath work. All you have to do is choose to turn off your notifications and stop what you’re doing for 5 minutes. I’ll talk you through it.

See? 5 minutes goes so quickly!

Practice Makes Progress:

There’s no magic formula. You have to put in the time to discipline and train your mind. Try this five-minute exercise in the evenings when you’re laying in bed ready for sleep. When the recording finishes, continue to breath slowly in through the nose, with your exhales slightly longer than your inhales. When your mind begins to wander, bring it back to counting your breath.

It’s that simple. And that’s the beauty of it. No memberships. No competition. Just you and your breath.

Keep breathing!